Sunday, August 31, 2003


Just this past week, several people on boards I frequent commented on rather odd remarks MSGOP talk show host Chris Matthews made with regard to Howard Dean's masculine qualities. Dean spoke at a New York City rally on Tuesday August 27th that was broadcast by C-Span, and Matthews later commented something along the line that Dean looked quite good on stage, with the candidate's short-sleeve shirt emphasizing his muscular arms.

Suddenly my gaydar alarm went off.

Now, I haven't been able to find a transcript of these remarks, and I will post it if I find it. But I do have an exact quote of similar remarks "Tweety Pie" Matthews (a nickname he earned as a result of a bad blond hair dye job) made about Shrub earlier this year, after the aircraft carrier photo-op pseudo-event:

"We're proud of our president. Americans love having a guy as president, a guy who has a little swagger, who's physical, who's not a complicated guy like Clinton or even like Dukakis or Mondale, all those guys, McGovern. They want a guy who's president. Women like a guy who's president. Check it out. The women like this war. I think we like having a hero as our president. It’s simple." Then Motormouth Matthews delved even deeper into homoeroticism: "Imagine Joe Lieberman in this costume, or even John Kerry. Nobody looks right in the role Bush has set for the presidency - commander-in-chief, medium height, medium build, looks good in a jet pilot’s costume - or uniform, rather."

Yup, Tweety Pie seems to have a soft spot -- or maybe even a hard spot -- for a manly man.

Now, as an openly gay man -- but one who, like Tweety, was raised Catholic and educated in Philadelphia area Catholic schools -- here's my take on Chris Matthews' admiration of Shrub's "manliness" and Howard Dean's muscular forearms:

Tweety's a self-loathing Catholic boy, a liberal who has sold his soul to the ReTHUGlicans for 30 pieces of GE's gold. Deep down in his heart he knows he's a shill for the evil forces that are destroying American democracy. And like the good Catholic boy he views himself as, he often feels guilty, occasionally going so far as to actually attempt to do something good -- like, say, opposing Shrub's war at first -- to make up for his evil actions. But then he witnesses what happens to uncompromising do-gooders like another Catholic boy, Phil Donahue, whose higher-rated MSGOP show was cancelled because of his antiwar views, and he forces himself back into line so he won't lose his access to GE's gold.

Tweety wants to do good, but he also knows that doing good will cost him his career. So now his entire life consists of dishonestly shilling for an evil ideology he doesn't even really believe in, while at the same time repressing his true do-gooder side.

Now, I don't think Matthews is necessarily gay, but he is perhaps a repressed bisexual, maybe a Kinsey 2 or 3 who is basically hetero but has some strong same-sex feelings. And with all the turmoil he's twisted himself into in order to advance his career, occasionally the homoerotic fascination comes bubbling out of his emotional cauldron. Thus, our eyebrows rise when we hear him praising Shrub's alleged maniliness or the forceful beauty of Howard Dean's muscular forearms.

And of course, if Dean actually manages to get the Democratic nomination, Tweety will do a 180 and trash him as thoroughly as he trashed President Gore.

After all, what's most important in Tweety's life right now is receiving a steady flow of GE's gold.

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